Harlem Herald

NEW YORK — Soccer isn’t that bad, but it’s bad. It’s only fun when players get red cards. America’s latest defeat to Belgium in Seattle has reignited a familiar debate across the country, with disappointed fans joking that the result proves, once again, that soccer simply isn’t for everyone. Following the loss, sports talk radio, neighborhood barbershops, nightclubs, and backyard barbecues buzzed with humorous complaints about ninety minutes of passing, missed chances, and dramatic dives that left many viewers wondering whether they should have watched baseball or football instead.

“It’s hard to get excited when one goal can decide an entire match,” said Ben Cosby, a nephew of Bill Cosby, while switching the television to a baseball game. Others admitted they appreciate the athleticism and global popularity of soccer but still prefer sports with higher scores and more frequent action. “I respect the game,” another fan shrugged, “but I grew up with touchdowns, home runs, and slam dunks. This just plain sucks.”

Despite the playful criticism, soccer’s popularity in the United States has grown steadily over the past several decades. Major tournaments routinely draw millions of American viewers, youth participation remains strong, and professional leagues continue to expand. Even so, many Americans still gravitate toward football, basketball, baseball, and hockey, sports that have long dominated the nation’s sporting culture.

As for Belgium, the team celebrated its magnificent victory and advanced with confidence, while U.S. supporters promised that next time would be different — right after insisting, with a smile, that soccer still “doesn’t kind of suck, it sucks.” Whether that opinion changes before the next World Cup remains to be seen, but one thing is certain: Americans will continue debating the beautiful game long after the final whistle blows a final time.